Ending Fall Semester

As the leaves fall and winter blows in, all of us college students look forward to winter break like waiting to open presents on Christmas morning. The week of finals is long, tough, and stressful, but the ending feels like running through a ribbon while running a marathon. Students should get an award for handling all of the break downs, fights, and sleepless nights throughout not only finals week, but the entire semester.

We all know the feeling of getting grades back. The smiles falling from our faces from a bad grade. The shaking of our legs as the page loads. The weight falling off our shoulders when we make a better grade in our classes than we thought we would. The feeling of passing finals and all of the studying put towards those tests paying off in the end.

I, personally, am not all too happy about my grades. I made two B's, two C's, and one F. An F. My first thought was: great, I've done it again. It pissed me off. Upset me more than anything. I told myself last year that I wouldn't fail again. How have I gone back and done this again??? I'm not pissed at the teacher or the class or the tests or anyone or anything, but myself. I'm pissed at myself. Why should I be pissed at anyone else? I did this.

I tried studying, but nothing seemed to stick. I'm on medicine. Medicine for ADHD. Medicine that doesn't work. I've gone from Adderall to Vyvanse to a Methylphenidate. I'm not sure what the name is, but it isn't working. I'm on 54mg now and I up the dosage tomorrow, so we'll see if it works. I hope it does. I wonder if I should just stop taking everything and see what happens, that's what my mom wants me to do.

My brothers girlfriend called me a walking pharmacy this morning. As if that makes me feel good about myself. Like thank you... I take 4 different types of medicine and one is the pill, so it isn't like serious. But still, it's 4 more pills than half the kids my age take.

I have a doctors appointment today. My throats been hurting, so I hope I don't have strep throat or something. I'm hoping I just have a head cold or allergies. I've been coughing, sniffling, bad headaches, and my throat is sore. So we'll see on that too.

I'm excited for Christmas to come along. I was supposed to be posting 12 Days of Christmas like I tried to two years ago, but as always, I'm lazy. I haven't been posting anything to YouTube. I'm hoping to post more on this blog now that I'm home from school until January 8th.

I have to go to the doctors now, so I'll post and update you later!
Thanks for reading, if anyone is!
Have an A1 day, peeps! xx