I feel...
crazy
insane
clingy
standoffish
psycho
that's just to name a few
Anyway, I can't get him off my mind. I wish I knew what he was thinking, I really do. Guys are so complicated to me, I don't get it. And it isn't like I can just be like, "hey tell me everything you're thinking" because that'll make me look cray cray
I'm the type that doesn't wait around to text back, message him a million times if he takes a long time to text back, freak out or get mad with him if he can't hang out/makes other plans. I understand he has other people in his life too.
The world doesn't revolve around us girl, ladies
as weird as that may be
He doesn't text all that much and he's a busy bee so he'll take a long time to text back a lot of the time. For instance, today, he just now texted me and it's nearing 6pm. Some girls would go crazy over that...
Then again, maybe I am going crazy because I'm sitting here writing this blog post
He drives me crazy
I want to tell him
I want to just be with him
I feel like that's normal though, for a gf to want to be with her bf
So here's my problem:
I overthink EVERYTHING
text messages, talking, conversations, pictures, names, you name it
I don't go crazy over them, but I do think about a lot all the time
I'll get nervous to ask him to hang out, but he's my boyfriend, I should be able to say whatever the hell I want without it being all too weird
I always think about him and I can't help but wonder if he's thinking about me too. I want to spend so much time with him, but he's older and is so independent, sometimes it's hard to tell if he wants to spend time with me as much as I do him. I hope that makes sense
I'm a very dependent person. I don't usually put all of the dependency on one person, like if he can't hang out, I'll go to one of my friends
but he's super independent
I just wonder if I'm the one in the relationship who has more feelings than the other partner
Also:
I never say anything crazy to him
I want to come off as chill
and to some point, I am
but again, i overthink everything
therefore, I freak out to my friends instead of him
I don't want to seem clingy or too attached or something
I'm drained too.
I have slept 30 minutes in the past 31 hours
I've been to three classes today and about to go to my last
I had two tests, one quiz, and two papers to revise/write
welcome to college
I need sleep
I want cuddling
I don't want to ask to hang out again because I don't want to get annoying or overbearing
Maybe i'm crazy, maybe I'm not. Who's to say?
I don't think I'm going crazy
at least i'm not one of those girls texting their boys 20 times in one minutes because they didn't text back in a certain amount of time... like come on, they have lives too...
for now, this is a goodbye
ttyl bitchachos xx
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